Real Beauty is My Aim

Above the desk in my study is a poster of Gandhi. Underneath it are the words "Real Beauty is My Aim." I think of that often in my own calling, my own work in the life of the church. The more the years go by the more I feel drawn to that notion. When I sit in my study and talk to someone struggling with an illness, or a disease, when I walk the streets of the neighborhood with people spinning dreams and listening about the lives of gifted people around us, when I sit in meetings with people who are talking about the gifts of the people in our congregation -- and how to encourage them and build them up, when I gather and listen to a family celebrate the life of a dearly loved family member -- the beauty, the real beauty surrounds me.

This morning I got an e-mail from Rachel out in New Zealand who was talking about the wonderful beauty of that place and her delight in being there. Real Beauty is her aim. Yesterday I stood and talked with Troy for a few minutes in the church office and listened as he talked about the exhibition he is putting together celebrating the rich diversity of families in the larger Indianapolis community. Today in the Indianapolis Star there were a couple of letters to the editor on the subject of "gay adoption" -- I assume when people are writing those words that they don't mean "adopting gay people" -- but who knows. What really struck me is that you get what you are seeking. I can't help think of that scripture that says "Seek and ye will find." The problem in this whole debate and conversation about so-called "gay adoption" is that we are more concerned about the sexuality of our "adopt-ors" then we are concerned about whether they are good excuses for human beings and should be allowed the privilege of caring for kids, who in many cases, are in crisis. I'm not saying that it isn't important what quality the potential adoptor is to those who are charged with making decisions about who can adopt. What I am saying is that if one of the criteria you are considering is the sexuality then that does -- in real and practical terms pull you away from considering what is most important. Real Beauty needs to be our aim. If it isn't -- if we are more concerned with the type of beauty than real beauty -- we will get exactly what we have been seeking. And people will suffer because of it. In a state where we have one of the highest rates in the county of child deaths from abuse, can we afford to pay attention to the type of adoptive parents we are getting, rather than the quality of them? And in the midst of a state with enormous problems and issues to resolve in education and health care and criminal justice -- do we need to spend time focusing our attention on whether someone qualifies to be a parent based on their love for another person of the same sex? To even have to type these words seems crazy to me.

Charles stopped by to see me on Monday. He has been coming to church for the last few months. He lives in the same block as the church. He has a disability which has limited the use of one arm. And he has a pronounced limp. But he heard me announce that one of our long time members -- Clone -- had died early on Sunday morning after 99 years of life. He said that he had noticed that my black shoes weren't looking to hot and he knew I would be doing Clone's funeral and he wondered if he could shine those shoes as a gift to the church in honor and memory of Clone's life. You bet he could I said. The next day he brought them back and they hadn't looked this good since I brought them back from the store, 20 years ago (I don't wear them very often -- they are my funeral and sometimes Sunday morning shoes, only). He had stuffed paper inside of them to get them to hold their shape because (he pointed out to me) I don't have shoe trees, so he improvised. But his gift, simple and elegant -- matched the woman he was honoring and was a reminder all over again of the real beauty that surrounds me every day.